Today certainly had some ups and downs. For a good part of the day I felt some resistance to …. well, resistance to the facts of life in front of me. But ….. once Rio and Marina went off to have dinner with J-J and Miyoko, I was able to GET SHIT DONE without the regular distractions I encounter.
Something about constantly being around others makes me feel like I lose a sense of myself. Or that I should be embarrassed about something …. some deep character flaw that makes me a bad person. This is a feeling that I would altogether like to give up.
But, back to the the task management at hand, here are a list of things I was able to do in a two hour period:
clean the toilet
finish the dishes
do laundry (twice)
tidy up my space
organize three weeks worth of vitamins
take a bite-sized step in your personal CBT app
buy and pay for greeting cars
drink a CBD soda
I keep coming back to the thing that Michael Pollan said (in regards to psychedelics) about rewiring your brain. How your decision making apparatus is like a trail where everyone has gone sledding down a snowy hill. Sure, you can continue going down the same track because it’s convenient …. but there are a great number of possibilities we are shutting ourselves out to when we don’t forge a new path.
Phew. That Michael Pollan Netflix documentary is something I wouldn’t mind checking out when I get time.
I also had some time to reflect on the fact that, if I really wanted to, there was plenty of work I could have gotten done last week. Instead, I made excuses and told myself I was exhausted (in order to ‘create’ time for video games). Now, I think I was really wrong about video games in the past. They serve a good purpose. And that is …. keeping your brain from revving its engine nonstop, creating enemies where there are none, etc. Some real Eckhert Tolle shit there man.
I’m feeling a big tired, but sitting in this chair seems quite agreeable to my back. Gotta make sure I exercise tonight (wanna get a new streak going). Talking with a friend is another thing I’ve gotta do …… maybe today calls for a phone call? Making a mix-tape? Who knows. I think you could combine this with your bath time as well.
But yeah, I really do hope I continue with this ‘Repeat’ app … as well as the CBT app …. both of these seem to provide a really solid structure for helping me be a better version of myself.
that’s all for now…..